In Memoriam

So, in light of recent events, I wanted to take some time to express just how deeply the loss of the great actor Robin Williams was to me. There will be times where I go off quite a bit from the man, the myth, the legend himself, but only because I want to show you just how deep a connection this man, the things he stood for, the roles he played, and the things he went through have meant to me in my life.

Robin Williams was a man who was a major part of my life. From my very early years of hearing him voice Genie in Aladdin and seeing him cross dressing and chucking fruit at Pierce Brosnan, crying "It was a run by fruiting!" in that thoroughly British accent in Ms. Doubtfire.

To my later single digits to early teen years, where Jumanji and Hook opened up my eyes to wild, fantastic places that one doesn't experience day to day and can only dream of.

And more recently, to my more formative adult years, dealing with the struggles of the real world and trying to find my place in it. This is where the Robin Williams, I know and love most, came into my life. With Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society. Through one of my courses to qualify to get into the graduate program at Wright State for my field, one of our assignments was to watch one of a list of different pop culture movies dealing with teaching and reaching out to younger minds. Among those of course, were Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society.

Before this assignment, I honestly had not really taken any notice of either movie, mainly because I had been so wrapped up in the day to day monotony of classes, work, and other dramas of life, the main thing I wanted to do in my free time was laugh, so I stuck to watching things like Comedy Central and other various stand up (Robin Williams include at times). So, when given the choices, I decided to go with Good Will Hunting as my choice. My reasoning... because of the fact that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back refers to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon being in everything together and filming Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season *sigh* My immaturity can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes *smh* Alas, Adrian Monk, I feel your pain.

I'm glad that this assignment came along, however, because watching Good Will Hunting opened my eyes to the greatness of more cerebral films such as this, and I had decided to watch Dead Poets Society as well, though the assignment only required one film. Granted, I still prefer watching more light hearted, childish comedy, however, I've mixed it up with more dramatic, adult (can you call Sherlock and Firefly adult?) fare.

I digress (as I tend to do) from the point that, my main influence into watching both films was because of the performance that Robin Williams had delivered in both films. I had gone into the Wright State program wanting to teach, and his characters drove that passion further. It made me realize that I wanted nothing more than to be able to aspire to inspiring at least one person in my lifetime. While I regret that I have let current financial circumstances hinder my progress, it has not changed that passion in me. My ultimate goal is to teach, no matter how long it takes for me to get my foothold back into it.

I had always known that Robin Williams, like so many others, especially my most recent of exes (while I have been rather harsh of lately, only because of the hurt that it caused me, I have respect for her, even after the fact, and wish her the best and hope that she always has many loved ones that are there for her during her worst bouts of depression) was dealing with depression. Nobody really thinks of depression as a disease and view it more as an emotion that one can just control. It is not. I have gone through moments where I get so depressed because I feel at times that the only friends I have are friends with me out of pity. Whether unfounded or not, it's the way my mind processes things and that thought process hurts me immensely in the long run with relationships that are truly meant to be sincere. My mind has been my own worst enemy throughout most of my life and has probably been one of the leading causes to most, if not all, of my failed relationships.

All tangents aside, here is where they all converge together and lead to my point.

The fact that one man, with such a lustrous career, ranging many different spectra, can cause all of us to look back, even if only for a brief moment. Cause us to reflect on just how he had brought joy to our lives, made us laugh, cry, think. Make us (or at least myself) connect with him as a human being and not just view him as your run-of-the-mill celebrity.

Robin, I am sorry that your struggles tipped the balance and led to your final outcome, but I hope that in that, the suffering you were going through on the inside is finally at peace and that you know that you left loved by many and will not be forgotten.

With that, I leave you with my favorite moments from Mr. Williams' work.

Requiescat in pace

Busy, busy

Ok. The Captain is letting go anchor. This is the blogger hanging up the nautical attire for an evening lounging in the Captain's Quarters in his comfy bed, looking unwind and take his focus off of the sea for a brief moment.

I've been quite busy this past week since the last update. I've had relatives visiting from around the globe, been spending time with some friends that I have not had much time to spend with since I normally hung out with them whenever my cousin was around, mainly because they are his roommates and mostly because I felt that it might be weird for me being around when my cousin wasn't (granted I think some of the awkwardness I felt stemmed from the fact that I had a bit of a crush on one of them for a while in the past, but I think the feeling wasn't mutual, so no harm no foul. If it was mutual, then I'm a terrible reader, and that's probably the main reason I can't keep a stable relationship in the first place :/)

But they have since invited me to hang with them while my cousin was away to South Africa on his own adventures and it was great getting to spend time with them while he was away, which was a blast!

Now, my cousin has returned, with many a story to tell, but that's for his blog, should he ever choose to write one. I'm glad that he is back. He has stood by me through every up and down I've been through (though he seems to have the worst timing to go on his excursions, as it seems that a breakup seems to either be around the corner or just happened before he leaves)

My other cousin, who currently resides in one of the liberal nooks in the deep red south, visited home this past weekend and kept all of us occupied these past few days. The main event was our trip to King's Island on Sunday, where the lines weren't nearly as long as I had expected them to be for a summer weekend.

Alas, he left this afternoon to head back home and I'm going to miss him. But, at least I know he will be returning for Thanksgiving.

And last, but not least, I could not forget to mention the arrival of my family from Ireland! Especially my Uncle, who is quite a character. Always full of energy, looking to have a good time, and for some reason, is just so damned charismatic without even trying.

He can walk up to a total stranger and probably get them to start spitting out all kinds of personal information without any hesitation...

It's gotta be the accent. The Irish accent could melt butter from a mile away when used properly. Lol.

All in all, I'd have to say that the past week has gone well. I've still gone through my ups and downs in coping with the end of the relationship and what the future holds for me, but of this I am certain. In trying to mend my heart, I have had help from the family and friends that have stuck by my side and I can't thank them enough, and while it may not be enough to completely fill the void left behind, it is enough to keep this Captain floating on in his search of his White Whale.

Much bandaged and stitched love,

HR

Moving Along

Captain's Blog: Sea date 12, July, 2014

The captain has been experiencing choppy waters since the last account. He has been doing everything in his power to do some soul searching while navigating the icy conditions that have crossed his path since the break up. He's come across some absolutes that can never be wavered about himself, no matter what the situation calls for. Then there are some things that demand his attention on fixing.

So, let's backtrack a bit. Earlier this week, the captain discovered that he had a Pinterest account that was still attached to the ex. Being the idiot he is, (no worries, this turns out better in the end, so save your "What the Fuck?!?!?"s), decided to check out what was being posted. It's a good thing he did, because it's just what he needed to move along.

He first made the discovery because of an email that showed who updated things on their profiles. Curiosity peaked and he decided to click it. This was his reaction when he saw what he had seen on the page in front of him...

The captain wanted to throw shit overboard!!!

The ex made it seem like everything was all his fault and that she never had any hand in the shit that went down. Sure, the captain cannot claim innocence, however, the situation was a two way street and she never wanted to communicate about the issues going on. When she did, it was to tell the captain to get over it. Easier said than done when the issue is waking the captain up 5 or 6 times in the middle of the night when he had to be up and at work by 6:30AM. But, the captain digresses...

Now, the captain is having trouble finding the one image that was posted that just solidified it for him, but he can summarize to the extent of it saying "Leaving you doesn't mean I hate you, it means I respect you", but then followed that with the caption, "but there are some people that I just HATE!" Maybe the captain was reading into things and that caption wasn't meant for me specifically, but if you guys haven't known the captain long enough, you should know that he always thinks that things like that are directed at him. So, he's just gonna take it as directed at him and use it as fuel to get the hell out of these rough waters as quick as possible.

With all that said, this revelation doesn't necessarily make things any easier on him, it just makes it easier for him to extend a certain finger in the general direction of the ex's current domicile as he drives past on the highway.

However, the captain sails onward.

He is at the very least gaining some positivity in all of this. Through the help of some old high school friends, the captain definitely knows that nothing will cause him to compromise his integrity when it comes to picking up women.

You see, boys and girls. When it comes to the opposite sex, the captain was raised on one simple ground rule. Women are not to be treated as objects. The captain wants to show the utmost respect for whomever he is in a relationship with. Now obviously, the captain is only human, and seeing as how this is his 3rd break up (all of which being the other's decision) This respect alone is not enough. The captain has learned that, apparently, if he has a problem with something in the relationship and addresses it, he's the bad guy and must deal with it and never speak of it again, but rest assured if there is a problem they have with the captain, he'd better fix it fast or his ass is getting left in the dust. But, again, the captain digresses...

The captain is not looking for sex in a relationship. He is on the hunt for someone that will give the same love and devotion that he gives in the relationship, a certain reciprocation that he has not found yet. Unfortunately, the captain seems to blind himself in the midst of the relationship and has dealt with the fact that he has not experienced true reciprocation.

Is the captain doomed to float around in this sea forever searching for this White Whale? "When Lord? When? When's gonna be my time?!?!?"

Though it seems that the captain is only able to focus on the negative, there are bright pieces in his life. He has had many friends and family (I shall refer to them as crew mates in future reference) come to his side, even though there are times he just wants to lock himself in his room and not be disturbed.

In a few days, the captain's First Mate shall be returning from a trip abroad, and this is when I believe the captain shall be breaking out of his funk in no time.

For now, I shall keep the sails down and keep drifting onward.

Until the next entry, smooth sailing to all.

Much bandaged and stitched love,

HR

Short n' Sweet

Gonna keep this week's post short, as I'm actually trying to be productive and keep myself busy.

To take a break from the nautical theme and the third person viewpoint, if only for a moment, I have gotten settled in to the new living situation. I've gotten a lot of help from new friends in transitioning into life after the break up.

I'm looking forward to all of the new experiences that await me.

I'll miss what I had, but, as with all the others, I have to move on and hope that one day I'll get this relationship thing right.

Everything is slowly piecing itself together in my new room, which is like a mix of bedroom and living room smushed together, at least that's the plan anyway.

Thank you to everyone who has still been supportive of me and this random creative endeavor I've been pursuing. I know that it hasn't been the tour de force piece that my first one was, but I figured that I should take this post to take a step back and appreciate the fact that, even though it didn't work out the way I had originally wanted to, things could be a lot worse for me. I'm glad that I was able to find a new situation and a really good group of new friends that have helped me pull myself up off of my moping ass and try to pick up the pieces.
 
This blogger is gonna have to get some shut eye soon for work in the AM.

Much bandaged and stitched love,

HR

Clear skies ahead?

Sorry to keep you all waiting ladies and gentlemen (Especially the ladies ;) This guy is available again)

 I wanted it to be:

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Hehe, *ahem* whoopsies.... still getting the hang of this....

Err....

Ummm.....

*Kicks side of blog until it restarts properly*

It is the Captain's deepest regret to inform you that this post will be going against his solemn promise last week that he would not get on the subject of lost love. However, even though this post is going there, you will be happy (at least somewhat) to note that it is not all doom and gloom, and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

So, Jr has been wracking his brain this past week trying to come up with destinations for this ship to go without coming up against the dreaded lost love iceberg, but he's narrowly avoiding them, though they seemingly bar the way and it is what he's been focusing a fair chunk of time to himself on doing.

Captain Blog Jr has been doing his best to keep busy, not only to have things to talk about with this lovely audience (who showed so much love and support last week that he cannot thank enough for) but to also try his best to take his mind off of the ex (which has been an emotionally jarring rollercoaster at times).

Jr is hoping that he will be able to start moving in to a new place and getting away from some of the hurt that has been left behind. He spent some time with his (potential, though I hate saying it, I have to use it until things are officially approved) roommates and some of their friends. We started watching Season 1 of Once Upon A Time and I have thoroughly enjoyed watching it so far.

The downside to this new place? The path to get to and from follows pretty much the same path that I took to get to the ex's house and it's still a little too fresh to get to the new place and come home without getting a little misty.

This ship has had some close calls with the ex-bergs floating about, but Captain Blog Jr is gripping the wheel tightly, swaying the ship to and fro in the choppy waters that threaten to send him into the shimmering Goliaths that threaten to tear him down and drag him to the depths of the Sea of Regrets; the bitter taste of which caresses the Captain's taste buds with every spray from the sway, causing him to feel the stings of what lies beneath if he cannot make it through.

Fear not, however. For there is a lighthouse in the distant horizon, faintly pulsating between the crags and crevices of the drifting bergs. The Captain is getting professional guidance coming in through his marine radio at least once a week (skipping the flowery details, Jr is seeing a psychologist) giving me breathing techniques to help give me the patience and strength to focus on the narrow misses that have caused panic attacks through the journey thus far.

Certainly, the Captain is in over his head at times, more often than he wants to admit, but he is making progress and is looking forward to making it to that lighthouse on the horizon. The beacon for a new hope. The light that is tracing the path for me to follow to better myself during the course. And finally, when I have reached port, that is where he will meet the one person that was truly meant to be in his life for what remains of it. Who will be there for him, through all of his ups and downs, always wanting to shower him with the attention and the affection that he shows her.

The Captain relishes that day.

So, until that day comes, Jr will have to live his life to the fullest of his capabilities and with that being said:

Stay tuned and stay classy, my friends,

Much love,
Blog Jr (The Hapless Romantic)

My Fellow Americans...

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogiverse, I want to apologize in advance, this blogger tends to switch between the 1st and 3rd person. I know it's not apropos in the literary community, but let's face it, this blogger isn't trying to win any Pulitzer Prize Awards for Letters, Drama and Music. So, with that being said, onward we go.

At the behest of the BlogFather, Blog Jr is taking the helm of his very own blog for its maiden voyage. In the many blogs to come, Blog Jr is looking to share with you the things on his mind. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Some will make you just want to reach through the ethereal plane that your Ethernet cable connects to and slap Blog Jr in the face and say, "Get the fuck over it!!!"

The main reason the BlogFather has suggested doing this is because in the stresses of his life, he gets great relief (and probably takes great pleasure in) ranting, raving and ranting some more, about the goings ons of his life. And currently, Jr. is no stranger to stress (whether it be external or self induced) ranging from the financial to the romantical (you're damn right I'm making that a word). So, it is my goal that, with control of the Blog ship Lollipop, I will find some relief from what ails me, and maybe even give you, the audience, a better understanding of what's running through my mind and why I am the way I am.

To those of you who know the man that is Blog Jr., you all know (probably ad nauseam) that Jr has been going through the pains of a fairly recent break up to ex #3 (#4 if you count an approximate 2-3 month im relationship with a friend of a family member, but my guess would be most of the people in the real world would vote that as a resounding, "HELL NO WE DON'T!!!") of whom he thought the world of, but due to issues that he did not want to foresee, though the writing was apparently on the wall, lost without the possibility of a second chance.

So, it's time for Jr to move on. Easy to say, harder to do. My mind is a complex array of wires crisscrossing every which way and when good advice travels down one of these wires, it apparently makes the wrong turn in Albuquerque at Stubborn Fool Junction and Jackass Avenue, and I seem to do the exact opposite, half (if not all) the time.

Recently, Jr did something stupid that he thoroughly regrets doing. Jr thought that he was ready (when in fact, he was being too impatient and jumped the gun) and recreated a profile to the website to which he encountered the fair maiden that has most recently broken his heart. It's unknown why he thought that this was a reasonable thing to do, just 2 and a half weeks after the break up. Maybe it was a curiosity as to what new fish lie in wait out there in that infinite ocean everyone speaks of where the White Whale of soulmates supposedly dwells. Unfortunately, to his dismay, after searching through a few schools of fish, he found the new profile of the woman who crushed him thoroughly to a pulp. This reopened the wounds that he thought he had sewn to a reasonable extent that he could try a fresh start.

After discovering that he, in fact, did a rather shoddy job at mending his newly torn heart, he decided that it was time to give that profile a rest and just hope that she finds someone else that will treat her better than I ever could, then he shall return if no one in real life shows up to help mend his heart and put back together the pieces left behind in the massacre.

With copious amounts of Häagen Dazs ice cream, a steady stream of Air Supply and a binge watching of How I Met Your Mother, Jr will rebound from this. Jr is going to do his best to tune out the things that have reminded him of the good and the bad times from ex #3 (4) and just hope that he doesn't do anything to fuck up his relationship with future gf #4. Of course, as stated before, easier said than done.

It is my promise to you that Captain Blog Jr shall not make all of his posts love lost themed, he's just going through a phase, one that is reminiscent of Season 2 Marshall pining over the lose of his soulmate Lily. The Captain requests all hands on deck to be his Ted and Barneys to help him get his Titanic through the icy North Atlantic Ocean and make it safely to the shores of Actualsoulmatethatwillstickbymyside-ica.

In fact, the next one will be absolutely nothing to do with love at all...

Stay tuned and stay classy, my friends.

Blog Jr