In Memoriam

So, in light of recent events, I wanted to take some time to express just how deeply the loss of the great actor Robin Williams was to me. There will be times where I go off quite a bit from the man, the myth, the legend himself, but only because I want to show you just how deep a connection this man, the things he stood for, the roles he played, and the things he went through have meant to me in my life.

Robin Williams was a man who was a major part of my life. From my very early years of hearing him voice Genie in Aladdin and seeing him cross dressing and chucking fruit at Pierce Brosnan, crying "It was a run by fruiting!" in that thoroughly British accent in Ms. Doubtfire.

To my later single digits to early teen years, where Jumanji and Hook opened up my eyes to wild, fantastic places that one doesn't experience day to day and can only dream of.

And more recently, to my more formative adult years, dealing with the struggles of the real world and trying to find my place in it. This is where the Robin Williams, I know and love most, came into my life. With Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society. Through one of my courses to qualify to get into the graduate program at Wright State for my field, one of our assignments was to watch one of a list of different pop culture movies dealing with teaching and reaching out to younger minds. Among those of course, were Good Will Hunting and Dead Poets Society.

Before this assignment, I honestly had not really taken any notice of either movie, mainly because I had been so wrapped up in the day to day monotony of classes, work, and other dramas of life, the main thing I wanted to do in my free time was laugh, so I stuck to watching things like Comedy Central and other various stand up (Robin Williams include at times). So, when given the choices, I decided to go with Good Will Hunting as my choice. My reasoning... because of the fact that Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back refers to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon being in everything together and filming Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season *sigh* My immaturity can be both a blessing and a curse sometimes *smh* Alas, Adrian Monk, I feel your pain.

I'm glad that this assignment came along, however, because watching Good Will Hunting opened my eyes to the greatness of more cerebral films such as this, and I had decided to watch Dead Poets Society as well, though the assignment only required one film. Granted, I still prefer watching more light hearted, childish comedy, however, I've mixed it up with more dramatic, adult (can you call Sherlock and Firefly adult?) fare.

I digress (as I tend to do) from the point that, my main influence into watching both films was because of the performance that Robin Williams had delivered in both films. I had gone into the Wright State program wanting to teach, and his characters drove that passion further. It made me realize that I wanted nothing more than to be able to aspire to inspiring at least one person in my lifetime. While I regret that I have let current financial circumstances hinder my progress, it has not changed that passion in me. My ultimate goal is to teach, no matter how long it takes for me to get my foothold back into it.

I had always known that Robin Williams, like so many others, especially my most recent of exes (while I have been rather harsh of lately, only because of the hurt that it caused me, I have respect for her, even after the fact, and wish her the best and hope that she always has many loved ones that are there for her during her worst bouts of depression) was dealing with depression. Nobody really thinks of depression as a disease and view it more as an emotion that one can just control. It is not. I have gone through moments where I get so depressed because I feel at times that the only friends I have are friends with me out of pity. Whether unfounded or not, it's the way my mind processes things and that thought process hurts me immensely in the long run with relationships that are truly meant to be sincere. My mind has been my own worst enemy throughout most of my life and has probably been one of the leading causes to most, if not all, of my failed relationships.

All tangents aside, here is where they all converge together and lead to my point.

The fact that one man, with such a lustrous career, ranging many different spectra, can cause all of us to look back, even if only for a brief moment. Cause us to reflect on just how he had brought joy to our lives, made us laugh, cry, think. Make us (or at least myself) connect with him as a human being and not just view him as your run-of-the-mill celebrity.

Robin, I am sorry that your struggles tipped the balance and led to your final outcome, but I hope that in that, the suffering you were going through on the inside is finally at peace and that you know that you left loved by many and will not be forgotten.

With that, I leave you with my favorite moments from Mr. Williams' work.

Requiescat in pace