My Fellow Americans...

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogiverse, I want to apologize in advance, this blogger tends to switch between the 1st and 3rd person. I know it's not apropos in the literary community, but let's face it, this blogger isn't trying to win any Pulitzer Prize Awards for Letters, Drama and Music. So, with that being said, onward we go.

At the behest of the BlogFather, Blog Jr is taking the helm of his very own blog for its maiden voyage. In the many blogs to come, Blog Jr is looking to share with you the things on his mind. Some will make you laugh, some will make you cry. Some will make you just want to reach through the ethereal plane that your Ethernet cable connects to and slap Blog Jr in the face and say, "Get the fuck over it!!!"

The main reason the BlogFather has suggested doing this is because in the stresses of his life, he gets great relief (and probably takes great pleasure in) ranting, raving and ranting some more, about the goings ons of his life. And currently, Jr. is no stranger to stress (whether it be external or self induced) ranging from the financial to the romantical (you're damn right I'm making that a word). So, it is my goal that, with control of the Blog ship Lollipop, I will find some relief from what ails me, and maybe even give you, the audience, a better understanding of what's running through my mind and why I am the way I am.

To those of you who know the man that is Blog Jr., you all know (probably ad nauseam) that Jr has been going through the pains of a fairly recent break up to ex #3 (#4 if you count an approximate 2-3 month im relationship with a friend of a family member, but my guess would be most of the people in the real world would vote that as a resounding, "HELL NO WE DON'T!!!") of whom he thought the world of, but due to issues that he did not want to foresee, though the writing was apparently on the wall, lost without the possibility of a second chance.

So, it's time for Jr to move on. Easy to say, harder to do. My mind is a complex array of wires crisscrossing every which way and when good advice travels down one of these wires, it apparently makes the wrong turn in Albuquerque at Stubborn Fool Junction and Jackass Avenue, and I seem to do the exact opposite, half (if not all) the time.

Recently, Jr did something stupid that he thoroughly regrets doing. Jr thought that he was ready (when in fact, he was being too impatient and jumped the gun) and recreated a profile to the website to which he encountered the fair maiden that has most recently broken his heart. It's unknown why he thought that this was a reasonable thing to do, just 2 and a half weeks after the break up. Maybe it was a curiosity as to what new fish lie in wait out there in that infinite ocean everyone speaks of where the White Whale of soulmates supposedly dwells. Unfortunately, to his dismay, after searching through a few schools of fish, he found the new profile of the woman who crushed him thoroughly to a pulp. This reopened the wounds that he thought he had sewn to a reasonable extent that he could try a fresh start.

After discovering that he, in fact, did a rather shoddy job at mending his newly torn heart, he decided that it was time to give that profile a rest and just hope that she finds someone else that will treat her better than I ever could, then he shall return if no one in real life shows up to help mend his heart and put back together the pieces left behind in the massacre.

With copious amounts of Häagen Dazs ice cream, a steady stream of Air Supply and a binge watching of How I Met Your Mother, Jr will rebound from this. Jr is going to do his best to tune out the things that have reminded him of the good and the bad times from ex #3 (4) and just hope that he doesn't do anything to fuck up his relationship with future gf #4. Of course, as stated before, easier said than done.

It is my promise to you that Captain Blog Jr shall not make all of his posts love lost themed, he's just going through a phase, one that is reminiscent of Season 2 Marshall pining over the lose of his soulmate Lily. The Captain requests all hands on deck to be his Ted and Barneys to help him get his Titanic through the icy North Atlantic Ocean and make it safely to the shores of Actualsoulmatethatwillstickbymyside-ica.

In fact, the next one will be absolutely nothing to do with love at all...

Stay tuned and stay classy, my friends.

Blog Jr